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Posted

After an impromptu family reunion yesterday a few generations of the Kania Family met up at my dads house and began to drink. There was a Tv tuned to HBO turned way down low and in the far end of the house. A few people cought wind of the "Aristocrats" special. And the Word Quickly Spread thoughout the get together. Needless to say, Drunken badgering about Grandmothers Giving their Grandchildren rimjobs, and fathers fisting the family dog ensued. If anyone isnt familiar with the joke "The Aristocrats". the joke goes like this...

A guy walks into a talent agency and is greeted by one of the premier Talent agents in (Insert Name of State/City/etc.) The man tells the agent "I have an amazing act to tell you about, I just need a minute of your time". The agent says "Okay, you got your minute, shoot"...

The man says "Okay! Well its a family act. Me, my wife, my son, my daughter, and the family dog...."

(Insert every sick and twisted thing you can think of that a family could do together on stage. Including, but not limited to...Felching, Period Blood, Feces, Beastility, Incest, Sodomy, Vomit, Semen, Necrofeila, Other Members of the family)

"....and then we all stand up and take a bow"

The talent agent looks Dumbfounded and mutters "Thats some kinda act you have there, What do you call yourselves?"

So the Man says "The Aristocrats".

If you dont understand why or how this joke was ever funny then this probably isnt the "project" for you. But i was hoping that we could accumulate a good amount Forum user submitted Audio clips of you all doing the jokes yourselves. And of course ill put one up very soon. Just an idea! I know im not the only one that would like to see what people come up with tho...

Posted

I still dont see what that < insert random joke here > has to do with your dad fisting your dog :wink:

Posted
wow your almost as fucked up as me :)

thats a pretty story you have there, did they tell it in the special hospital? :)

Did some one mention eel porn?

Posted

hahaha good idea. Its been done before tho for the film/doc - "the aristocrats".

putting up audio would be good....but where to host..?

Posted

The problem with telling "the aristocrats" joke is it tells people more about you then anything else and there are already enough people in this world that think I’m a hate filled, degenerate, sick, twisted, fuck.

Posted

I tend to laugh at inappropriate things, a good example is a few years back I was told about a guy that committed suicide a few days before Christmas, basically he jumped of the top floor of a shopping centre/ Mall and as he fell his head got cut off when it hit one of the glass railings and his body landed in one of those Christmas displays where you have kids come and sit on the lap of the guy dressed up as Santa clue’s and it was a very busy day.

After I was told this story I began to laugh and I got some of the dirtiest looks I have ever received.

Posted

Wow, I cannot believe I laughted while reading that. Maybe I am a sick, twisted individual. Then again, I simply don't have much for emotions, at least the appropriate ones. :twisted:

Posted

Reminds me of the people who killed themselves by jumping from a carpark i used to live across the road from. You'd wake up, open the curtains and find a street full of cops and tv trucks. But saying "I live here, and I don't care if your still scrapping some idiots head off of the curb" to a cop is never a plan.

Posted
I tend to laugh at inappropriate things, a good example is a few years back I was told about a guy that committed suicide a few days before Christmas, basically he jumped of the top floor of a shopping centre/ Mall and as he fell his head got cut off when it hit one of the glass railings and his body landed in one of those Christmas displays where you have kids come and sit on the lap of the guy dressed up as Santa clue’s and it was a very busy day.

After I was told this story I began to laugh and I got some of the dirtiest looks I have ever received.

i laughed too....I'm kinda bad like that.

  • 2 weeks later...
Posted

Currently, the ladies over at the administration department where I work loathe me.

My human resource manager, one of the few people at the company I actually honestly like, got a bad case of pneumonia. As he's at home being treated for this one of the ladies buys a 'get well soon' card, and we're all asked to write something in there.

I wrote: "DIE!"

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