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An email i got. i thought it was really funny


Garda
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>>>

>>> Read this it will give you a giggle :-)

>>>

>>> I had to send this on......if this doesn't have you laughing out loud

>>> then you must be having a really crap day!

>>>

>>>

>>>

>>> Here's a prime example of "Men Are From Mars, Women Are From Venus"

>>> offered by an English professor from the University of Colorado for an

>>> actual class assignment:

>>>

>>> The professor told his class one day: "Today we will experiment with a

>>> new form called the tandem story. The process is simple. Each person

>>> will pair off with the person sitting next to them.

>>>

>>> As homework tonight, one of you will write the first paragraph of a

>>> short story. You will e-mail your partner that paragraph and send

>>> another copy to me. The partner will read the first paragraph and then

>>> add another paragraph to the story and send it back, also sending

>>> another copy to me.

>>>

>>> The first person will then add a third paragraph, and so on

>>> back-and-forth.

>>>

>>> Remember to re-read what has been written each time in order to keep the

>>> story coherent. There is to be absolutely NO talking outside of the

>>> e-mails and anything you wish to say must be written in the e-mail. The

>>>

>>> story is over when both agree a conclusion has been reached."

>>>

>>> The following was actually turned in by two of his English students:

>>>

>>> Rebecca and Gary.

>>>

>>> THE STORY: (first paragraph by Rebecca)

>>>

>>> At first, Laurie couldn't decide which kind of tea she wanted. The

>>> chamomile, which used to be her favorite for lazy evenings at home, now

>>> reminded her too much of Carl, who once said, in happier times, that he

>>> liked chamomile. But she felt she must now, at all costs, keep her mind

>>> off Carl. His possessiveness was suffocating, and if she thought about

>>> him too much her asthma started acting up again. So chamomile was out of

>>> the question.

>>>

>>> (second paragraph by Gary)

>>>

>>> Meanwhile, Advance Sergeant Carl Harris, leader of the attack squadron

>>> now in orbit over Skylon 4, had more important things to think about

>>> than the neuroses of an air-headed asthmatic bimbo named Laurie with

>>> whom he had

>>>

>>> spent one sweaty night over a year ago. " A.S. Harris to Geostation 17,"

>>> he said into his transgalactic communicator. " Polar orbit established.

>>> No sign of resistance so far..." But before he could sign off a bluish

>>> particle beam flashed out of nowhere and blasted a hole through his

>>> ship's cargo bay. The jolt from the direct hit sent him flying out of

>>> his seat and across the cockpit.

>>>

>>> (Rebecca)

>>>

>>> He bumped his head and died almost immediately, but not before he felt

>>> one last pang of regret for psychically brutalizing the one woman who

>>> had ever had feelings for him. Soon afterwards, Earth stopped its

>>> pointless hostilities towards the peaceful farmers of Skylon 4.

>>> "Congress Passes Law Permanently Abolishing War and Space Travel",

>>> Laurie read in her newspaper one morning. The news simultaneously

>>> excited her and bored her. She stared out the window, dreaming of her

>>> youth, when the days had passed unhurriedly and carefree, with no

>>> newspaper to read, no television to distract her from her sense of

>>> innocent wonder at all the beautiful things around her. "Why must one

>>> lose one's innocence to become a woman?" she pondered wistfully.

>>>

>>> (Gary)

>>>

>>> Little did she know, but she had less than 10 seconds to live. Thousands

>>> of miles above the city, the Anudrian mothership launched the first of

>>> its lithium fusion missiles. The dimwitted wimpy peaceniks who pushed

>>> the Unilateral Aerospace Disarmament Treaty through the congress had

>>> left Earth a defenseless target for the hostile alien empires who were

>>> determined to destroy the human race. Within two hours after the passage

>>> of the treaty the Anudrian ships were on course for Earth, carrying

>>> enough firepower to pulverize the entire planet. With no one to stop

>>> them, they swiftly initiated their diabolical plan. The lithium fusion

>>> missile entered the atmosphere unimpeded. The President, in his

>>> top-secret mobile submarine headquarters on the ocean floor off the

>>> coast of Guam, felt the inconceivably massive explosion, which vaporized

>>> poor, stupid Laurie.

>>>

>>> (Rebecca)

>>>

>>> This is absurd. I refuse to continue this mockery of literature. My

>>> writing partner is a violent, chauvinistic semi-literate adolescent.

>>>

>>> (Gary)

>>>

>>> Yeah? Well, my writing partner is a self-centered tedious neurotic whose

>>> attempts at writing are the literary equivalent of Valium. " Oh, shall I

>>> have chamomile tea? Or shall I have some other sort of F--KING TEA???

>>>

>>> Oh no, what am I to do? I'm such an air headed bimbo who reads too many

>>> Danielle Steele novels!"

>>>

>>> (Rebecca)

>>>

>>> As*h@le.

>>>

>>> (Gary)

>>>

>>> B*tch!

>>>

>>> (Rebecca)

>>>

>>> F**K YOU - YOU NEANDERTHAL!!

>>>

>>> (Gary)

>>>

>>> In your dreams, Ho. Go drink some tea.

>>>

>>> (TEACHER)

>>>

>>> A+ - I really liked it.

>>>

>>>

>>>

>>

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