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The Train Defecator


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A man has been defecating in trains across south-east England, causing damage costing £60,000 to repair." the BBC writes.

Apparently the guy waits until the train is empty (polite geeza) then proceeds to smear his butt nuggets all over the train. This phantom faecal fudger has evidently struck 30 trains.

According to the BBC: "He travels to various areas and at different times of the day and different days of the week." So be careful, Mr mud-butt could be on a train near you.

Police have released a picture of the guy whom they suspect is dropping the butt clusters. This Bondi cigar dropper is obviously dangerous. So i wouldn't approach him. I mean I wouldn't want any of my readers in the area to suffer collateral damage. Being hit by some butt butter could be dangerous.

Police will be armed with industrial strength Andrex and rocket propelled Glade plugins. God speed gentleman in catching this tord terrorist.

Thats it today from the nookie cookie news dept. Stay classy.

I will keep you up to date people.

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