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Why I left.. Part 2.


binauralman
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Well since Harrison took the time to clearly entail detail into his reasoning for departing from Hak.5 I guess my obligation is to do the same, so here we go:

Harrison brought up many points that relate to my reasonings as well, Including the tremendous work load on the other side of life. With interviews and side jobs in the current wave of work, it's been hard to provide dedicated, motivated and a large amount of time to Hak.5. Not that importance of it is low or insignifcant, but bills tend to take precedence over mostly everything in a our live's and no one can really deny that. Hak.5 was a venture that was never expected and has treated me very well in the most manner in terms of networking, fun, education and just good ol' fashion hacking. Drinking till 4:00 AM and coding is a lot of fun and at some point in time things just get in the way and the past few months they just have.

Along with what Harrison said, Darren and Wess have put a tremendous amount of time, money and hardwork into something that started small and grew incredibly fast. They have never been looked at as falling short and praises to them is always needed from everyone including myself, harrison and the viewers. If it wasn't for those 2 guys, there wouldn't be Hak.5. On the other hand one of many reasons I did leave was the lack of acknowledgement on the other end. There were a lot of feet in the pool and only a few got wet, unfortunetly it did upset me in many ways the lack of acknowledgement that some people were just not getting from the shows perspective from the current members.

Which brings me to another point, one thing to understand is when building a project relationships as friendships must stay that way, when we tried to approach a business model there was a lot of steril feelings felt through out the group. Trust is one of the major if not the most important part of a relationship , when that is lost... all is lost. Myself, I have lost trust and diginity in members of the Hak.5 crew and felt that it was my time to leave. I look down upon no one and know that the show must go on!! One of my personal issue's is not beating around the bush. If I feel something, I say something and at times... well it's not accepted and your thoughts and feelings are considered void. Over time that grew and it came to a point as if what I said went in one ear and out the other.. so with that said you can see that my feelings and reasons for leaving the show are much different then Harrisons.

This sorta approaches the more detailed reasoning and hope that I can make this as clear and professional as possible, without sounding like a prick, jerk, loser or what ever, so here we go. I am no longer a member of Hak.5 and unlike Harrison I will not possibly be back on the show. My appologies goes to all that care and I wish the situation could be different, however the way I was raised and grew up focused around trust and honesty from those considered close to you. The viewer's, the people reading this right now.. my thanks goes to you all for enjoying any of the small work I put into the show and love every IM and email I get referring to the show or code or whatever. What a dedicated fan base you truly our sticking by Hak.5 's side no matter what, dealing with the bull shit from the digg trolls to Rev 3 Fanboys that hated us cause we weren't Rev 3. You are the ones that made Hak.5 what it is and if you just don't like what your seeing say something about it! That's what the forums are for.

Now back to the point of reasoning, business decision's were made without the consent of the entire Hak.5 crew. The conversation has come up many times between us and the final straw was pulled and I left. I can not work with a group of people that I am suppose to trust and depend on when I feel that they have went behind my back or made decision's they have no right to make FROM MY PERSPECTIVE. In no way am I pointing the finger cause at times we are all wrong, we all do stupid things and make unresponsible decisions. However, at the current time.. well it was the final battle for me.

As far as the advertising and money thing goes, like Harrison said; this show cannot continue with out it. It takes a lot of money and time to build something like Hak.5, though it may seem small it really is not. I encourage donations or something to keep it going, or perhaps sucking up any advertising they have to do in order to keep it running. If not, well there won't be a show.

Harrison brought the funniest but the most honest point to myself as well, I don't want to be a star. I joined Hak.5 for fun, enjoyment, education and the joy of knowing that atleast one person is learning code and we have one more developer out there. When we took the trip to toronto, I felt some of the heads blew up in the crew and I just wanted to be home. Even though I had a shit load of fun, I didn't enjoy being the center of attention when what we do is nothing compared to what the security and coding experts do today. I am merely another geek that love's technology and when you'de rather stick a camera in my face and tell me to act on TV instead of code all day I'd say fuck you! I would rather be known for being smart or doing something good for the community then having pretty face on TV! But then again that's just me..

Now I want to make the important point that everything is still kept completely professional and orderly, I simply do not consider myself a member of the show and know that Hak.5 will continue to bring you your monthly dose of technolust. Something that was decided way before Harrison or myself joined. As far as the future of Hak.5 is concerned I wish the crew the best and hope that it continues to grow the same it did when I was at one time a part of it. What great potential it has and it can become a mark of a new generation.

But the most important part, viewer's continue to watch the show! I have mad respect for you all because you are what drove me to learn more and teach more on the show. You guy's / girl's rock and I got mad love for ya!!

Jonathan

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I thought my explanation was pretty detailed without giving the word for word details, some things are best kept unsaid and thats the way it should be. I'm not sure what else there is to say... it seems everyone has an understanding as to why we decided to split.

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