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Chuck Norris vs. Bruce Lee


Whos better Chuck Norris or Bruce Lee  

44 members have voted

  1. 1.

    • Bruce Lee
    • Chuck Norris
    • What are those, operating systems or something?
    • Both

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^^ You man keiffer sutherland. And no.. he would die. Bruce lee would eat them both for breakfast.

:x you are mistaken..

some facts about Jack Bauer

>Jack Bauer named his cat 'Chuck Norris.' Why? Because He's a pussy.

>In order to control illegal immigration in the United States, the president installed cardboard cutouts of Jack Bauer along the US/Mexico border.

>If you're holding a gun to Jack Bauer's head, don't count to three before you shoot. Count to 10. That way, you get to live 7 seconds longer.

>Don't beg Jack Bauer to shoot you. He will simply shoot your wife. No man tells Jack Bauer what to do.

>Jack Bauer can leave a message before the beep.

:P lmao

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Jack Bauer FTW!!!!!


Some of my favourites

The city of Los Angeles once named a street after Jack Bauer in gratitude for his saving the city several times. They had to rename it after people kept dying when they tried to cross the street. No one crosses Jack Bauer and lives.

A standard deck now contains 48 cards. Too many people were getting hurt for trying to play Jack.

If everyone on "24" followed Jack Bauer's instructions, it would be called "12".

Once, someone tried to tell Jack Bauer a "knock knock" joke. Jack Bauer found out who was there, who they worked for, and where the goddamned bomb was.

If it tastes like chicken, looks like chicken, and feels like chicken, but Jack Bauer says its beef. Then it's fucking beef.

Superman wears Jack Bauer pajamas.

When Kim Bauer lost her virginity, Jack Bauer found it and put it back.

Jack Bauer played Russian Roulette with a fully loaded gun and won.

I'm sure you get the idea

Jack Bauer > Chuck Norris > Bruce Lee

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I always wanted to see Jack Bauer play russian roulette with a semi-automatic.

There's a story about some guy that did just that on the Darwin Awards website.

Amazing what various intoxicating substances and a few extra chromosones can do to a man.

And Bruce Lee is king. Period!

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<off topic="ASCIIart">

I'm a little late with this, but in case anyone else wants to try ASCII art on forums, instead of 'space' try using Alt+255 and stick it in a code box ;)

*     *  *   *  ****     ***   ***    *

*     *  *  *   *          *         *    *   *

*     *  **     ***        **    *    *   *

*     *  *  *   *                 *  *    *  

*** *  *   *  ****   ***     ***   *

However, since it's not using a fixed width font, it's a litle wonky...

...and my ASCII art skills are a little rusty ;)

Edit: seems to also work with 'space' as long as it's in a code box :)

</off topic>

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Ok moonlit that was completley random. :?:

Anywho, because we all love Jack Bauer...here's some more facts:

>When Google can't find something, it asks Jack Bauer for help.

>Lets get one thing straight, the only reason you are conscious right now is because Jack Bauer does not feel like carrying you.

>It's no use crying over spilt milk... Unless that was Jack Bauer's milk. Oh you are so screwed.

>Jack Bauer could strangle you with a cordless phone.

>Men are ok with their wives fantasizing about Jack Bauer during sex; because they are doing the same thing

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uhh... I know the definition of joking already thanks, though you might wish to read that yourself...

you always say you're joking, no matter what the content of your message was - you obviously say it to dig(g) yourself out of the holes you constantly dump yourself in... either STFU, talk some sense just once in a while or just get the f* out... plain and simple...

and no, I wasn't joking...

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I finally remembered what I was going to say two days ago :D

Right, first off, Moonie, there should be about two more *s in your post.

*coughs* And yeah. The first time I heard of 24, it was a few series in, and I had the irrational belief that they didn't have breaks between the series, so it was one day, after another, after another etc etc.

I got really confused during season three when everyone still seemed so alert, and no-one pooped!

Actually... no-one ever poops in that show. Evah!

Jack wins, 'cause he can outlast the others in a no-pooping contest.

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