Help needed with iPhone dictation app.

[cooper]

I really, really, REALLY hate Apple. I hate Apple so much I'm starting to dislike the fruit!

But more to the point, as part of a knowledge transfer session I had 2 long chats with a guy about a certain piece of software. I had the insight to record this conversation using the standard Dictation app on my iPhone. Problem is, these are 90 and 100+ minutes recordings respectively and the only 'export' functionality that this FUCKING LUMP OF JUNK iPhone has from this app is email and I can't, for the life of me, figure out how to get the sound files off this damned PIECE OF SHIT.

Trying to use email to get the files off doesn't work because the files are so large the mailserver is rejecting the message.
It's not jailbroken and isn't going to be either as previous experiments in this area (7.0.1 jailbreak) led to a full wiping of the phone (no problems there at that time. Now... less so) and resulted in extreme instability of the phone.
I tried a number of apps but I'm unwilling to pay for any. I will not pay to access MY OWN FUCKING FILES - I don't negotiate with terrorists. Fuck iTunes and the rotting hippie that dreamt it up.
I tried to switch configured mail providers to GMail but, alas, to no avail.

I tried drop box and other cloud services but they only do pictures and movies, *NOT* dictations.

Any other phone on the fucking planet can become a USB stick once you plug it into a computer, but not the iPhone. Noooooo! God forbit they adhere to someone else's standards. That would mean someone else got it right for once. No, we can't have that, no sirree..
This horrid excuse for a phone is provided to me by my employer and I've hated it from day one. It's the epitome of everything I loathe about Apple, so obviously my employer chose it to be the standard phone for everybody in the company (no 'external' hardware allowed on the premesis).

Also, for any solution you might suggest, please keep in mind that I DO NOT ANYMORE, NOR WILL I EVER AGAIN, RUN WINDOWS.

I have full access to the phone itself, obviously, and I can easily just run the recording to listen back and transcribe everything. It's what I intend to do anyways. I just want to use something just a *teensy* bit more advanced than the standard dictation app to do so as this is taking FOREVER and I'm starting to get flashbacks of the old days when I was making mixtapes.

Help?

Edited August 25, 2014 by Cooper