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Should I tell my child that I will install parental monitoring software on his iPhone?


Sharonto
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As summer approaches, I have read a piece of news that Connecticut Better Business Bureau urges parents to thoroughly prepare their children before allowing them to spend time unsupervised on the Internet. I really get a big headache about this. As busy working parents, we have little time to stay around my kid while he is surfing the Internet. He especially likes to make friends in the social networks. I am so worried that he might be instigated to do something illegal that I wanna put parental monitoring software on his iPhone to monitor all his activities. I don't mean to pry into his privacy. Should I tell my child that I will install parental monitoring software on his iPhone?

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Hi Sharonto and welcome to the forums!

I highly suggest that you do not install any monitoring software on your child's iPhone / computer / other devices. I feel that it is the wrong approach and just leads to your kid trying to break it when he/she finds out. It also isn't great for the trust between you two.

Instead, why don't you sit your kid down and talk about the things that can happen on the internet? It's a smarter move to teach your kid to be careful than just to shield it.

If you are worried your kid will do something illegal, maybe that is the place to start?

Good luck!

Best Regards,

Sebkinne

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A few points both for and against:

What level of illegal do you suspect?

If you install monitoring and he gets caught doing something you could end up being asked to give it up for evidence. Do you want to go to court against your son?

Install it without him knowing and get caught, he is going to hate you

Tell him about it and you could have a big fight with him rebelling and not giving you access to the phone

If he knows it is on there, either by being told or finding it, these things are fairly trivial to bypass

As Seb says, talk to him. Try to find time to get him off the internet and doing other things so he is away from the bad influences. Or get him doing good things online, learn coding, get involved in good groups.

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Security awareness education for kids is the best approach. Better to teach kids younger to be street smart on the net. Especially about avoiding things like sexting (which can also be considered child pornography if under 18), online criminal activity, and just being a good cyber citizen.

Also consider monitoring like training wheels, it is better and more understandable for younger kids to have a sandbox type security on mobile devices, then lessen restrictions as they get older. Set the groundwork and internet rules, then it becomes more of self-discipline. If they can't handle it then don't give or allow you kids to own mobile devices until they can. Make them earn it and they will respect it.

Otherwise your setting them up for failure, as your kids will most likely use other mobile devices or bypass restrictions, monitoring as stated before. They need to learn to respect technology or it will own them.

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In my opinion, you should tell your kid that you will monitor him. As parent, you should respect his privacy. Otherwise, it might cause conflict between you and your kid. I remember that when my dad installed a spy program iKeyMonitor in my iPhone 4S to secretly spy on me without my knowing. I was so angry that I ran away from home for a week. I never do anything bad. If they had told me, everything would be okay.

Edited by Amuu
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  • 3 weeks later...
  • 3 weeks later...

Although everyone has the right to know the truth, children are too young to understand what their parents monitoring them and just think that you do want to control them. The more you restrict them, the more rebellious they are.

So in my opinion, you can tell them what you really did until they have grown up to understand you.

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  • 2 weeks later...

In my opinion, you should tell your kid that you will monitor him. As parent, you should respect his privacy. Otherwise, it might cause conflict between you and your kid. I remember that when my dad installed a spy program iKeyMonitor in my iPhone 4S to secretly spy on me without my knowing. I was so angry that I ran away from home for a week. I never do anything bad. If they had told me, everything would be okay.

Maybe you are right, what i thought good may not really good for kid. I will take all your suggestions into consideration. Thx for your help.

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  • 10 months later...

Yes. I do think that the children is individual and they are young but they are worth being respected. As parents ,you should tell him that what you do is for his safety. Installing an iKeyMonitor on his phone, but he cannot find it. Tell him what you do doesn't hurt him, I believe the children can usderstand this.

Edited by digininja
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