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Favorite Movie Quotes


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From Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back:

"Oh, all right. Well, first, I want you to tongue my bung, while you juggle my balls in one hand, and play with my asshole with the other, but don't stick you're finger in. Then I want to pinky you while I stick in your fuckin' friend's brown, while Silent Bob watches, and fuckin' spanks it in a Dixie cup. After that, I want to smell your titties for a while, and you can pull my nutsack up over my dick so it looks like a bullfrog. Then I want you to fuckin' flick my nuts while your friend spanks me off in the same Dixie cup that Silent Bob jizzed in. Then, we throw the Dixie cup out."

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Here's a few I regularly use as email quotes:

I love movies that make America look great. Like Rambo 3.

- Sleepaway Camp 3 -

I like movies that have good acting. Like Gone With The Wind or The Care Bears.

- Sleepaway Camp 3 -

I like you. You have balls. I like balls.

- Team America -

I order to be anally retentive, one must first have an anus.

- Dogma -

This was your idea, B. If you don't like your ideas, stop having them.

- Ginger Snaps -

This one's super lucky!

- Battle Royale -

I just didn't want to be a loser anymore.

- Battle Royale -

What's wrong with killing? Everybody's got their reasons.

- Battle Royale -

This is what happens when you fuck a stranger in the ass!

- The Big Lebowski -

Let me tell you something, pendejo. You pull any of your crazy shit with us, you flash a piece out on the lanes, I'll take it away from you, stick it up your ass and pull the fucking trigger 'til it goes "click."

- The Big Lebowski -

Your suffering will be legendary. Even in hell!

- Helloween II -

I could go on, but I better not...

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It's 106 miles to Chicago, we've got a full tank of gas, half a pack of cigarettes, it's dark, and we're wearing sunglasses. -- Dan Aykroyd (The Blues Brothers)

Vincent: And you know what they call a... a... a Quarter Pounder with Cheese in Paris?

Jules: They don't call it a Quarter Pounder with cheese?

Vincent: No man, they got the metric system. They wouldn't know what the fuck a Quarter Pounder is.

Jules: Then what do they call it?

Vincent: They call it a Royale with cheese.

Jules: A Royale with cheese. What do they call a Big Mac?

Vincent: Well, a Big Mac's a Big Mac, but they call it le Big-Mac.

Jules: Le Big-Mac. Ha ha ha ha. What do they call a Whopper?

Vincent: I dunno, I didn't go into Burger King.

(Pulp Fiction)

[Jules and Vincent take Marvin with them in their car and Vincent's gun goes off and blows Marvin's head off]

Vincent: Whoa!

Jules: What the fuck's happening, man? Ah, shit man!

Vincent: Oh man, I shot Marvin in the face.

Jules: Why the fuck did you do that!

Vincent: Well, I didn't mean to do it, it was an accident!

Jules: Oh man I've seen some crazy ass shit in my time...

Vincent: Chill out, man. I told you it was an accident. You probably went over a bump or something.

Jules: Hey, the car didn't hit no motherfucking bump.

(Pulp Fiction)

Joe: And you are Mr. Pink.

Mr. Pink: Why am I Mr. Pink?

Joe: Cause you're a faggot, ok?

Mr. Pink: How about I be Mr. Purple?

Joe: No, You can't be Mr. Purple.

Mr. Pink: Why not?

Joe: Someone on another job is Mr. Purple!

Mr. White: Who cares what your name is?

Mr. Pink: Oh yeah that's easy for you to say you've got a cool sounding name. How about we trade, OK? You're Mr. Pink.

(Resevoir Dogs)

Carlos: What? Were they psychos, or...?

Seth Gecko: They look like psychos? Is that what they looked like? They were vampires. Psychos do not explode when sunlight hits 'em. I don't give a fuck how crazy they are!

(Dusk Till Dawn)

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You were only supposed to blow the bloody doors off!
"Every day for the last three weeks you've been coming in here and you've been asking me how the tuna is. Now, it was crappy yesterday, it was crappy the day before and guess what? It hasn't changed."

"You almost had me? You never had me - you never had your car... Granny shiftin' not double clutchin' like you should. You're lucky that hundred shot of NOS didn't blow the welds on the intake! You almost had me?"

"Zero Cool? Crashed fifteen hundred and seven computers in one day? Biggest crash in history, front page New York Times August 10th, 1988. I thought you was black man. YO THIS IS ZERO COOL! "

"Someone didn't bother reading my carefully prepared memo on commonly-used passwords. Now, then, as I so meticulously pointed out, the four most-used passwords are: love, sex, secret, and...god. So, would your holiness care to change her password?"

"Kid, don't threaten me. There are worse things than death, and uh, I can do all of them."

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"Every day for the last three weeks you've been coming in here and you've been asking me how the tuna is. Now, it was crappy yesterday, it was crappy the day before and guess what? It hasn't changed."

"You almost had me? You never had me - you never had your car... Granny shiftin' not double clutchin' like you should. You're lucky that hundred shot of NOS didn't blow the welds on the intake! You almost had me?"

You never had me...you never had your car


ANAKIN: We lost something

OBI-WAN: Not to worry, we're still flying half the ship.

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"Mess with the best die like the rest" - Hackers

"Well it looks like I'm on top" - Hackers

"... and what does he do?""That's it, he just sits there and looks pretty all day" - Hackers

"ma, ma, my stapler" - Officespace

"I just feel like she's cheating on me""I know what you mean""You know what I mean?""Yeah she just seems like..." - Officespace

.... tooo tired to remember the others I love...

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"I find your lack of faith disturbing"

-Star Wars

"English mother fucker, do you speak it?"

-Pulp Fiction

"No time for love Doctor Jones"

-Temple of Doom/Clerks

While not a movie, anything with Red Forman threating to put his foot in someones ass (That 70's Show) gets me every time. I'm sure there are more, I have all day.

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Dr. Peter Venkman: This city is headed for a disaster of biblical proportions.

Mayor: What do you mean, "biblical"?

Dr Ray Stantz: What he means is Old Testament, Mr. Mayor, real wrath-of-God type stuff.

Dr. Peter Venkman: Exactly.

Dr Ray Stantz: Fire and brimstone coming down from the skies. Rivers and seas boiling.

Dr. Egon Spengler: Forty years of darkness. Earthquakes, volcanoes...

Winston Zeddemore: The dead rising from the grave.

Dr. Peter Venkman: Human sacrifice, dogs and cats living together - mass hysteria.

Dr. Peter Venkman: Ray has gone bye-bye, Egon... what've you got left?

Dr. Egon Spengler: Sorry, Venkman, I'm terrified beyond the capacity for rational thought.

Dr Ray Stantz: Listen! Do you smell something?

Dr. Peter Venkman: Alice, I'm going to ask you a couple of standard questions, okay? Have you or any of your family been diagnosed schizophrenic? Mentally incompetant?

Librarian Alice: My uncle thought he was Saint Jerome.

Dr. Peter Venkman: I'd call that a big yes. Uh, are you habitually using drugs? Stimulants? Alcohol?

Librarian Alice: No.

Dr. Peter Venkman: No, no. Just asking. Are you, Alice, menstruating right now?

Library Administrator: What's has that got to do with it?

Dr. Peter Venkman: Back off, man. I'm a scientist.

Dr Ray Stantz: Where do these stairs go?

Dr. Peter Venkman: They go up.

Dr Ray Stantz: Everything was fine with our system until the power grid was shut off by dickless here.

Walter Peck: They caused an explosion!

Mayor: Is this true?

Dr. Peter Venkman: Yes it's true.


Dr. Peter Venkman: This man has no dick.

Janine Melnitz: Do you believe in UFOs, astral projections, mental telepathy, ESP, clairvoyance, spirit photography, telekinetic movement, full trance mediums, the Loch Ness monster and the theory of Atlantis?

Winston Zeddemore: Ah, if there's a steady paycheck in it, I'll believe anything you say.

Winston Zeddemore: Do you believe in God?

Dr Ray Stantz: Never met him.

I should just post the script, I loves me some Ghostbusters.

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