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Was this rude in your opinion?


Was I rude with my reply to this email to a superior?  

72 members have voted

  1. 1.

    • Yes
    • No
    • I don't care

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Ok here is an email that was sent to me by a superior:

I was informed on Thursday August 31, 2006 that the was no

electricity to the press box or score board at the football field. I

was told I needed to talk to Manuel about this. I not sure if you

were aware of this. Let me know what I need to do if anything. Just

a reminder that we have a home Football game this Friday against

Center starting at 7 pm. Thanks Mr. S_______

Here was my reply:

As I say ALL of the time, G____ is the Technology Director, therefore everything should go to him before it gets to me. I say this because I am not sure who told you that it was up to me.

That said, we are aware of this and have already had electricians trying to give us quotes on re-wiring the press box and the concession stand (along with anything else over there). At this point is is between G_____ and Dr. D______ to determine what needs to happen.



PS. CC'ed to G_____ and Dr. D______

And here was my bosses reply (Dr. D_______):

Manuel, let's discuss you email deportment. I have talked with G_____ about this issue previously. This is a situation where Mr. S______ out ranks you. Your response should be with respect and politeness. Yes, G_____ and I plan to go out and look at this situation on Tuesday. Thanks,


I am asking for your opinons here. Did I come accross as being rude?

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As I say ALL of the time

that's the only thing that i could find that might be rude in all of that. Otherwise it's fine.

Not to seem rude or anything, but if Mr. S complained to your boss about this he is a dumb shit tosser and should be kicked in the face for being such a stupid shit.

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If this is the stuff that gets you reprimanded, I'm really glad I don't work for the same employer. I've sent some nastygrams to annoying customers that got some of my bosses yelled at by high-level execs and for the most part they just shug it off as another "Cooper's 15 minutes of fame".

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I guess I could have been rude by stating the obvious, but over the last couple of years, Mr. S (along with the majority of the people I work with) come to me. The real reason I added that line in the email was I had gotten yelled at by G_ fairly recently because he could not figure out why everyone comes to me first (perhaps because he is the one who sits behnd a desk on the phone most ofthe day, while I am the one most people see)....

Dr. D is a relatively new boss and he wants to tighten the reigns a bit which is understandable, but I hardly ever am rude (unless pushed into it slowly over time).

Thanks for the input from those here and in IRC. Your input is very usefull to me.


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I think it was a bitrude. It showed a bit of unnecessary niggle. He doesn't need to know that other people keep bothering you. I mean he did say he was *told* ito contact you. What you should have done its:

This short of reply should be sent to Mr ____ .


Do not show any emotion in your email, don't try to be human...just repeat. It'll work after a couple of weeks.

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I only voted yes because of what Garda had already pointed out. To me, it sounded like an e-mail written frustration and this tone was carried to the e-mails recipient. Thus it was slightly rude but enough to unwanted gain unwanted attention.

I third the above comment... Adding to it the "That said," probably didn't help.

Email is never the best way to communicate, No facial expressions, gestures or tone of voice. You might not have come off rude in your mind, but obviously he thought you did.

I've had this happen to me in the past too. Don't sweat it. I'd call him next time if he emails you.

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Reading it as if it were addressed to me, it comes across as a bit confrontational. The capitalised word 'ALL' and the accompanying sentance might be considered to be so. My advice is to simply read the mail through as if it were addressed to you, and be perfectly confident that no-one could take it in offence.

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If this is the stuff that gets you reprimanded, I'm really glad I don't work for the same employer. I've sent some nastygrams to annoying customers that got some of my bosses yelled at by high-level execs and for the most part they just shug it off as another "Cooper's 15 minutes of fame".

Reminds me of a day one of my old bosses pulled me into a meeting with some suits from another office. Turned out they'd had several complaints about me being rude, but also a very similar number saying I was great. Had a long chat with me about the guys I was rude to and went over the case historys with me. After much talk about company standards etc the head guy said "look... you seem to be doing a good job a lot of the, but please never call a customor a wanker, even if they are and you think the phone is on mute".

The moral of my story? A month later all our jobs were sent to india.

Your email does sound a bit off color though, less rude, more exasporated. Good idea when you right an email like that is to save it to drafts for half an hour, go have a cig/coke/coffee, do something else for a bit, and then come back to it.

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Agree totally with Vako you should always write up the email take a min to relax nice walk, lunch whatever suits you then come back read over it again or just totally re-write the email and see if it turns out the same. If it does hell send it maybe that is what they need. LOL :lol: Most of the time though you will sound a lot more calm and professional. 8)

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Another piece of advice I neglected to mention-always call/meet face-to-face when possible, in situations of potential conflict. E-mail is faceless and therefore emotionless, so any heated discussions can come across as even more inflammatory than 'real-life.' I think internet forums are a testament to this.

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Here's an update to the problem....

I had my meeting and thanks to many of the posts here and on IRC,

While at the time I did not think it was rude, I have come to realize that that whole first line should have never been said, regardless of my attitude.

I did explain to Dr. D and G_ why I had put that comment there and that I didn't intend it to be rude in anyway. I explained that I have been telling Mr. S many times over teh past years that I was not the one issues needed to be brought to and that I wanted to make sure he got the idea in writing, because until now it had all been verbal.

I turned the table a bit and told him that use of his words offended me, so if that's the case should I email the board president? Same difference in my opinion.

In the end They understood my reasonings (or so they said) but urged me to not reply to the emails anymore or at least simply stat "this message has been forwarded to G_" Nothing more, nothing less. (which I am perfectly fine with -- I actually suggested that idea). I was "encouraged" to simply forward them to G_. I did tell them both that I don't want to have another "Come to Daddy" meeting again if that happens because I will only be doing as per this conversation.

As for Mr. S I don't think he was offended as the conversation only indicated that Dr. D. was the one who got offended.

Then later G_ told me that Dr. D simply thinks the IT Department is too big already (with 4 people) and only 2 of us really out supporting end users.

Its all good for now, but I already have a few job offers if it all goes back down the hill, so im good to go. :)

Thanks again for the input and suggestions as it did help me put it all into perspective.


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