Originally I had decided that I wasn't going to write this, but after reading some of the things that are being said I decided it was a good idea to set things straight. Much of the Hak.5 community, particularly those who are active with feedback and in the IRC channel, is familiar with the fact that I left the show. However, not everyone got the story correctly, and I have to laugh at times, because it has become apparent that multiple stories are getting combined and mixed. It sort of reminds me of that old game that was played in grade school, where something is whipered into the ear of a person proceding a chain of others. Once the message gets passed through a few people, it is completely different. I think the remaining crew, as well as Jon, and myself will probably be able to sit a bit easier when I put some of these stories at rest.
Also, it is very important for me to note that I am by no means speaking for Jon. I will say just a few short things regarding Jon. Jon has also left the show as many of you know. He and I did leave for a few of the same reasons that I will discuss a bit later in this writing; however, we also had different reasons for leaving the show. If he decides to make a post and discuss his reasons, then so be it. But until that happens, do not accept my reasons for leaving as Jon's reasons. Jon and I are very close, and we both agree that it is best that neither of us speak for the other regarding this issue. With that said, I will begin listing the reasons that ultimately contributed to my decision to leave the show. I will list and explain these reasons in no particular order of presidence.
First, between work and school I am just too damn busy. This past semester has been running me ragged, and I find that most of my time is spent in class or studying outside of class. I was also put on a new development project at work. Not only that, but none of the developers actually know how to make this thing work, so we have all been working overtime to figure it out. On the weekends, when I used to film Hak.5, I am now traveling out of town and working 10 hour days. Between school and work, it's a safe estimate to say that I am running 75-80 hour weeks. On top of it, I like to dedicate a certain amount of my personal time to reading and research things that interest me, including digital security and such. Last summer and throughout my first semester of college it was much easier to leverage my time for Hak.5. Of course, none of us knew exactly what it would turn into, and how much time it would require. I would love to say that Hak.5 is one of my priorities, but it just simply is not. I am more concerned about finishing up my degree, and my job is helping me to build a career when I graduate. I must put these things before all else for the time being.
Second, I am not an entertainer. I know this is a strange statement for me to be making, so I'll give a bit of background as to what I mean by this. When I started on Hak.5, it was simply as a guest. I had something to offer, and Darren and Wess thought it would be cool to put it in the show. Based on the great response to the segment in episode 3 about arp cache poisoning, they invited me back on the show to demonstrate another protocol exploit, in which I demonstrated a rather popular method for performing a man in the middle attack to break SSL. This had even better response. Darren and Wess decided that they wanted me on the show as a permanent crew member, and I gladly accepted their offer. I had something to offer the show, and people seemed to really enjoy watching it. I had no idea the kind of response I would get from simply being on the show. Before I knew it I was recieving an enourmous amount of email, as well as meeting lots of cool new people who instant messaged me. I absolutely loved the attention, even though I was not doing anything ground breaking, but simply demonstrating other people's research. However, in the past 10 months or so, I have become very active in the security community. I have met a lot of great contacts, and have also started working on a few security (or "ethical hacking") projects on the side. These projects will probably become public in the future. In the past two months, I have not had anything to offer Hak.5. Sure, I could demonstrate one of the many little hacks I learn on a daily basis from reaidng books and white papers, but I don't feel that I honestly have anything to offer. I want to be known for my work, and not as an entertainer. Yes, it is true that I may be back on Hak.5 for episodes in the future, but it is only if I have something genuine to offer. Or something that I feel is cool enough to demonstrate to people regardless of the fact that it may not be my own research. When I initially told Darren that I wanted to leave the show for a while, he asked me if I would come on simply to act as a "watson" in a segment, because as he said, I am a Hak.5 "personality". Part of me really enjoys the fact that some people like my personality on camera. However, the majority of me would rather be known for my work, and my personality would just come along with it. I don't want to be an entertainer.
Next, as I mentioned earlier I have been working actively in the security field, but most of the things I have been working on are not suitable for Hak.5. Some of my work has been under non-disclosure agreements, and my other projects are simply too large to demonstrate at this point in time without requiring 30 - 45 minutes for one segment, in order to properly explain the topics. In the future, when some of these projects get finished up, it will be much easier to explain the finished product in a 5 minute shoot, but for now there is just no way to work them into a segment.
Now, many of you that have been active in IRC and know me on a personal basis may be wondering why this sounds watered down. Well, it is true, there was indeed some disagreements between the Hak.5 crew, but I wanted to first describe some of the other reasons why I left, that are equally, if not more important than the reasons that I am about to explain.
Hak.5 has grown enormously since it's first episode. The number of viewers each month is something that none of us could have expected. Certainly not Darren and Wess, who have been fronting the cash for the servers and bandwidth out of their pockets. In fact, the traffic Hak.5 has been recieving is so outrageous, that it was obvious we needed to do something in order to leverage the cost of the show. After many discussions, we all decided that it was a good idea to go forth with a legal production company. We were going to incorporate Hak.5 under a different name and begin to take sponsors and advertisers. This was not because we wanted to make money, but because none of us are rich, and we simply can not afford to run the show out of our pockets. Darren and Wess have spent a large amount of money on the show. The amount of money that is required to do the show is increasing. And it's increasing faster than any of our salaries is. I predict that on a year's timeline from today, the show will be completely unmanagable based on the increase in popularity that we have seen since the beginning of the show. Something must be done. Now, I realize that many people may consider this selling out, however you must consider the position that Darren and Wess are now in. And you must consider whether or not you would rather continue to have a free show, or not have a show at all. I tried to contribute money when I could. As well as trying to help out with equipment costs, simply making the commute and taking off time from work to film the show was costing me. Now, by no means did I ever contribute anywhere close to the amount of money that Darren and Wess put into the show, but I tried to help out when I could. We felt that the decision to create a company was the only reasonable choice. But that decision also came with unforeseen consequences. Having been in the business world since high school, and dealing with large companies, I knew that certain things were going to be different, and new responsibilities were going to develop. We all split up certain tasks, such as accounting, etc. For a while it seemed like this was going to work. However, within a few weeks we began to realize that it would be very difficult to work this way for the simple fact that our protocol for operating needed to change. For example, decisions that could possibly affect the show's viewers, and consequently revenue, needed to be made by all of the active parters. The simple task of writing a post on the website had to be considered, because in order to run a successful business all things must be considered, and a new level of trust had to be reached. Because we had operated originally with no intent on running a business, there were certain tasks engrained in our minds that had to be changed. We attempted to work around these issues, but they began to eat at us. There was indeed one particular moment the finally broke the camel's back. A decision was made that could have, and may have, drastically effected viewership. Unfortunately that decision was not made by the entire crew. Because of this, I had to ask myself whether or not I could honestly put my name on a business that was going to be managed the way that it appeared things would be run. The ultimate decision was obviously that I no longer wanted any part in the Hak.5 business. This does not mean that I am no longer friends with Darren and Wess, as many of the rumors have stated. In fact, because of the show Wess, Darren, and I became much closer. I would like to particularly note the fact that Wess and I were barely friends before the show, and now I consider him as close as a brother.
There are a few more things that I have to point out. After the show started, it became an obsession. It was the only thing we talked about. It didn't matter if we were on set filming, or at the Corner Pocket playing pool, the only thing we ever talked about. Darren and I had been enganged in other cool little projects before starting the show, but for some reason the show was taking over our lives and our conversations. I wanted to go back to the way we felt before the show, when we talked about kick ass hacks and mods without referring to the show. Since I left the show, it seems like we have become friends again, and are not treating each other like business partners. I want this to continue, even if I do come back on the show as a guest in the future.
I would like to conclude this by saying that Darren and Wess had a great show before Jon and I joined, and I think they have a great show without us. There has been a lot of discussion floating around various places online about whether or not Hak.5 is "dead" or "losing ground", etc. I fully expect the show to continue to get better as I feel it has been for quite some time. I think that people grew to expect certain things from Hak.5, and feel let down when things change and they don't see what they are expecting. For example, when Jon and I dissapeared upon the release of episode 7, some of the community seemed to be torn and may have felt like they had to take sides. This is by no means true. I wish Darren and Wess my best with the show, and I don't want anyone to think that I am enemies with them, or some other nonsense. I don't honestly know what the show's future holds, but if you feel like the show has been a bit different for the past two episodes, then stick with em and don't give up. Darren and Wess have had to undergo a serious burden without the help of Jon or I, and that is a very difficult thing to do. I'm sure that some kick ass content will be coming out soon, but in the meantime keep in mind that they are still making their release schedule, and still providing entertainment for free. Feedback was always encouraged in order to make the show better, but constructive criticism is always better than downright negative comments. Darren and Wess are working very hard to put together a good show, so make sure to give them the credit they deserve regardless of the changes that have been made in the show.
I'm sorry for the novel, but I wanted to be sure that I cleared up all the rumors that have been leaving many skeptical on the situation. Thanks for all the support that was given by much of the community. And I'm particularly greatfull to Darren and Wess for giving me the chance to be on their kick ass show. I've met a lot of cool people that I would not have met had I not been on the show. Thanks guys, I hope this puts some of those nasty conversations at rest.
